I'm always on the lookout for a good deal.  So, when I saw a sale on Amazon for a year of Parents Magazine for $5, I couldn't pass it up.  I had gotten a year of Parents as a gift when Caroline was first born, but let it run out without renewing.  I have been really looking forward to my first issue and when it arrived this week I couldn't wait to flip through it.  About halfway through I started to remember why I didn't send in that renewal card the last time.

Don't get me wrong: Parents is a great parenting magazine -probably one of the best of its genre.  But by the third feature on sunscreen and skin cancer I started to recognize the little knot of anxiety in my stomach.

Oh, no.  Mommy guilt!

I use sunscreen on Caroline.  But, evidently, the chances are that I don't use enough! Or maybe it's that I don't apply it correctly... whatever, the point is that after reading all the different articles dedicated to this topic (complete with plenty of true life stories of melanoma and unsuspecting mole changes) I was reasonably certain that I have already doomed Caroline to an early death.

Then comes the recipe section.  Back in my earlier, more naive days I looked forward to these sections - I love to cook after all.  But, now, not only are none of the recipes even remotely allergy-friendly, but they all focus on how to "remake" the recipes I use already to be healthier, lower in sodium, lower in fat, more environmentally friendly, include anti-oxidents (to counteract the skin cancer, I can only presume) and organic.  All with heavy handed undertones of implications that if I don't immediately start the 3 week transition from "chicken nugget" to "grilled chicken breast" that I will be held personally responsible for the childhood obesity epidemic.  And juvenile diabetes.  And potentially global warming - I'm not really clear on that one.

The knot of anxiety has by now lodged itself somewhere in my throat.  Good Lord, I'm still cooking with condensed soups... I mean, how long do I really have before the neighbors call the authorities??

Even the well-intentioned articles on how to cut costs for your child's birthday party and stop the "overdo" mentality has its hidden pitfalls.  The answer is apparently heavily steeped in being "out of the box creative" and making a minimum of 6 crafts.  I can't even spell decoupage without looking it up.

This all leads me to an important conclusion.  Our generation of motherhood is totally screwed.

Let me expound on that a bit and help explain the moderate profanity.

Think back to when we were kids.  I'm pretty sure my mom didn't get weekly emails from the time she conceived letting her know about the "normal development" of her fetus, then baby, then toddler and so on and so on.  If I was a month behind the curve in walking, talking or pooping at predictable intervals, she was likely blissfully unaware of it.  She didn't frantically surf WebMD or BabyCenter searching for answers - which would most certainly come in some iteration of "well, if you had been more diligent about tummy time and provided a more intellectually stimulating environment in the womb....."

We live in an information saturated world.  You can now sign up to receive updates on your cell phone on your goal pregnancy progress.  If you notice that your toddler walks on her toes, God forbid you should Google that to find out what it could mean.  Our mothers probably would have just signed her up for ballet.

I'm not saying that we should turn a blind eye or not try to educate ourselves, but where does the madness stop?  At what point can we say that our instincts as mothers should be good enough and that the worst case scenario is not usually the norm?  Child safety has come a long way over the years, but I still live in lingering fear about that one mini-blind cord that isn't wrapped up and out of reach.

And let's not even get into the topic of the guilt and fear that comes along with having a child with severe food allergies and asthma.  I'm just talking about generalized mommy anxiety here.

So, I think I'm going to start using my Parents Magazine to cut out pretty pictures to use for our next decoupage project and concentrate on trusting my mommy instincts more.  Let's all get back to basics and let our kids be kids while they can.

Truthfully, I only hope I can do as good a job as my mom did... without having to iron the pillowcases.