Eating in a public place is dicey with any toddler.  They're loud, they're unpredictable and they tend to throw things like food and tantrums.  However, despite knowing all of this millions of families still manage to eat out in public with them every day.  We, as parents of kids with serious food allergies, should have the same right in inflict our little tyrannical toddlers on the wider world of peaceable diners as every other parent.  Here's how our family manages it safely.

Step One: Choose Your Victim, or Rather, Location Wisely.

It always pays to do some homework.  Most major chains nowadays will post ingredients and allergen information for their menus online.  It will make your life a lot easier if you do some research ahead of time and try to see what, if anything, your kid can eat off the menu before you walk through the door.  If your family's favorite restaurant does not provide allergen information online, I would recommend contacting the home office and request the information.  I have done this several times and have always gotten a response.  Be prepared for the response to be something along the lines of "we can't provide that information" for smaller restaurants.  Also keep in mind that the allergen information provided can change, the expiration information is often provided at the top of the ingredients lists.  Make sure you verify that nothing has changed before you order.

Step Two: Pack Your Emergency Kit.

Even when we are going to a favorite restaurant that we have safely ordered at before, we still always pack food for Caroline in our "To Go Cooler."  We also pack a full meal any time we go to a restaurant when we have been unable to get satisfactory allergen information in advance.  This might sound like a gigantic pain in the keister, but truly it's really easy to throw and go once you get the hang of it.  I recommend getting a couple of different fun insulated lunch box sized coolers that you keep handy for traveling.  If you look for good sales or clearances you can get one or two really cheaply.

Along with the food, of course, you will need to be sure to have your epinephrine and antihistimine (EpiPen and Benedryl), which should be in your go bag anyway.  To be particularly cautious I also bring a travel sized pack of Clorox wipes and plastic table covers to clean off the high chair or booster seat and the table.  You can skip this if you don't have to particularly worry about possible cross contamination from any previous sticky fingers - it will depend on how sensitive your child is.

Step Three: Speak With the Manager

Whenever we place our drink orders with the waiter/ress I also ask to see any allergen information for their menu and ask to speak with the manager.  I be sure to act friendly and use big smiles as most servers are sensitive to a request to see a manager.  Generally speaking a manager is going to have a better understanding of the seriousness of the situation when you explain it and be in a better position to know what kind of precautions or accommodations their kitchen and staff are equipped to handle.  The good ones will walk through the menu with you and help make choices.  They will also appreciate that you've taken steps to educate yourself before you got there.  If there's nothing available that you think your child can (and will) eat, don't feel shy about breaking out your own food. You've already well established that you have a good reason for it and we have never had a single person even blink at us when we pull out food for Caroline.

Never trust a server or manager that makes vague statements about the ingredients of menu items.  They have never had to scour labels to look for hidden ingredients and while they probably truly believe that what they are telling you is accurate, they simply don't have the expertise that you do.  Trust your instincts.  Ask to see labels if they don't have detailed menu information available for you.

Step Four: Use Common Sense

If your child is severely allergic to eggs, then skip the traditional breakfast at IHOP or Denny's.  They will not be able to keep all of the eggs they are cooking separate from anything they might try to make for your child.  Or, just bring safe food in your cooler and be extra vigilant in cleaning the area around where he or she will be sitting.

Over time you and your family will learn which restaurants have food choices for your child and which ones have policies that you are comfortable with for reasonably keeping cross contamination to a minimum.  Soon your biggest worry will be just how big of a tip you're supposed to leave when your toddler has dropped four hundred goldfish crackers onto the carpet and smeared banana into every crevice within reach.